Uncut Gems
Contenders and Pretenders
I recently read Shea Serrano’s new book, Expensive Basketball. Shea’s book is a celebration of the way basketball makes you feel. It is a love letter to the players that make you look in awe at their superhuman feats on the court. This excerpt from the introduction of Expensive Basketball perfectly sums up the book and why I chose this article’s movie:
“It’s an affirmation of how sometimes you watch a person do a thing on a basketball court and it feels the same way it feels when you lie in the grass at night and stare up at the moon for long enough that you start to think about how incredible it is that you really, truly, honestly, actually exist.”
Shea’s book caused me to want to watch the greatest basketball ever made, but there’s something funny about the greatest basketball movie ever made. Bill Simmons wrote in The Book of Basketball, “The secret of basketball is that it’s not about basketball.” It’s about five players being selfless, embracing their role on the team, and putting the goal of winning above individual accolades. The funny thing about the greatest basketball movie ever made is that it’s not about basketball.
The greatest basketball movie ever made that’s not actually about basketball is Uncut Gems. And back to the quote from Shea Serrano’s book, the one about lying in the grass and staring up at the moon and being thankful that you exist. Great basketball makes me feel that way, but the artistically brilliant Uncut Gems makes me feel that way too. Uncut Gems feels like a basketball game from the opening credits tip-off to the final buzzer at the end. It’s stressful and fast-paced. The characters in the movie wow you and confound you. There are scenes when you want to pump your fists in the air and others when you put your head in your hands in frustration.
Basketball, more than any other sport, has two types of people: Contenders and Pretenders. Contenders are people that compete. They’re good, and maybe even great at the sport. They carry themselves with a confidence knowing that their contributions will help the team win. Pretenders don’t compete. They step onto the court with no drive. They’ve grifted their way to the team and they grift throughout the game. They’re selfish and care nothing about their role in helping the team succeed.
Uncut Gems stars one of the greatest contenders in the history of basketball. That man is Kevin Garnett. Let’s talk about Garnett’s career for a moment, thanks to Basketball Reference.
21 years in the NBA, drafted out of high school in 1996
He played a total of 1,462 games in the NBA.
KG is the greatest player in Minnesota Timberwolves history.
One MVP Award (03-04) and one Defensive Player of the Year Award (07-08)
12 seasons of finishing in the Top 10 of the MVP and/or DPOY votes
15-time All-Star
Throughout his entire career, KG averaged 17.8 points per game and 10.0 rebound per game.
2008 NBA Finals Champion with the Boston Celtics and this amazing moment
This incredibly hilarious conversation with Craig Sager.
And to be honest, the stats and the awards really don’t do justice to the passion, intensity, and love that Kevin Garnett brought to the game of basketball.
When you talk about a basketball player that’s got that dawg in him, it’s KG. He played the game with an edge. He hustled like every possession could be his last. When we talk about Contenders and Pretenders, there’s no bigger Contender in Uncut Gems than Kevin Garnett.
But Kevin Garnett is not the main character of Uncut Gems. Adam Sandler’s character, Howard Ratner, is the main character. Howard Ratner is up there with some of the biggest Pretenders in cinematic history. I should also add that I am still mad that Sandler didn’t win Best Actor for this movie. The guy known for being Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison gave a performance for the ages.
Howard Ratner runs a jewelry shop in New York City. He’s a grifter that lives in a cycle of scamming just about everyone in his life. He cheats on his wife and lies to his kids. He places sports bets with other people’s money. He had the gall to pawn off Garnett’s Championship ring for cash to place a bet. The whole movie is Ratner running from people collecting a debt while he’s foolishly trying to fill his pot with as much cash as he can get.
Garnett and Ratner’s paths cross when Demany brings KG into the jewelry store. Demany is played by LaKeith Stanfield. We love LaKeith at this Substack, but Demany is a Pretender. He’s not as bad Ratner, but he’s out there selling fake Rolexes and using his own hustle to get close to important people like KG. Demany introducing Ratner to Garnett has profound implications for the movie. Ratner shows off the uncut gem, this opal from Africa, and Garnett feels a power from it that makes him think that he needs to possess it for his upcoming playoff series against the Philadelphia 76ers. You know, it’s one of those superstitious athlete kind of things.
We should talk about the scene with The Weeknd. You got Howard in his 50’s leaving his family to go to the club late at night. You got the blacklight ambience with Demary standing out and glowing out with his bright orange hoodie. And you got The Weeknd flirting with Howard’s mistress, Julia, with some great music. This is a perfect scene, the type of scene that they should show in film school. It’s like sitting down a high school basketball team and showing them film of the 2025 Oklahoma City Thunder.
The perfect scene that sums up how fraudulent Howard and his friends are happens a bit after The Weeknd club scene. Howard accuses Julia of cheating on him. That’s really rich coming from a guy that’s cheating on his wife, but I digress. He fires Julia and throws her out of the apartment he rents for her. Eventually, he gets his ass kicked and embarrassed in public by the guys he owes money to. Julia has nowhere to go but back to him. It’s clear they’re both faking their love and their shame and they’re manipulating each other to get accepted back into the relationship.
Let’s get back to our opal, the uncut gem. Ratner wants to auction it off for money. Obviously he lied about the value to the auctioneers. Kevin Garnett wants it because of the vision and the superstition. Ratner does this idiotic and selfish thing by talking his father-in-law into placing bids and driving the price up….of course the father-in-law wins the opal that he cannot afford and did not want anyways. Ratner comes to an agreement with KG to sell him the opal. We have the Pretender and the Contender face-to-face and their differences cannot be more evident. A World Champion basketball player and a guy that thinks he’s hot shit because he’s won a few bets.
The grifting and the faking ends in disaster for all Pretenders. It’s no different for Howard Ratner. His story ends with a bang, like a team that lost by a buzzer beater jump shot. His outcome is a shocking moment whether it’s the first time you’ve seen Uncut Gems or the twenty-first. Kevin Garnett and his Boston Celtics win the series and Julia walks away with the one thing that she truly wanted.







Can't believe this was written for Amar'e Stoudamire. Not nearly the same.
I remember being shocked by that ending. Have you seen Sandler’s other bball movie, Hustle? Loved that.