On Kindness

Reflections for the Holiday Season

I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness lately. I think there are a few reasons why. I saw the picture above and it just stuck with me. This world can be very cruel at times. People can suck and they mistreat their neighbors. We live in a world that so often seems unfair. It feels like we live in a history when many of the wrong attributes are celebrated. I want a kinder world than what we currently have.

In addition, a few movies that I’ve watched lately featured protagonists that experienced viciousness from those around them. Now, this seems like a real bummer of a piece that’s supposed to be about kindness but I promise I will circle around. The world is not all bad. I believe in balance. So for every example of meanness, there is a balancing example of humanity at its best, treating each other with love and friendliness. I have been the recipient of immense kindness from family and friends this weekend. I’ve recently been reminded of how much I’m loved and I could not be more blessed.

This idea of a balance between kindness and cruelty is magnified during the Holiday Season. For many, this is an exciting time of year. They spend quality time with family and celebrate brighter days for our world. For others, this time of year is a stark reminder of the pain and loss that they’ve experienced in life. It forces them to endure rather than refresh. Here are a couple of Christmas movies where the protagonist is mistreated and bullied by those who should be in their corner.

Rudolph

Let’s start with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, every kid’s favorite reindeer. He’s got the catchiest song, he leads Santa’s sleigh, and he’s a great example of a kind human being…I mean, reindeer. But let’s get real for a second, this kid is failed by everybody around him that is supposed to be a positive influence. His dad is embarrassed of his red nose. Donner makes his son cover his nose because he thinks it’ll bring shame to the kid and his family. He doesn’t even stick up for his son when he gets bullied by the other reindeer. That scene where Rudolph gets bullied really cuts the heart. His teacher, Comet, doesn’t step in to protect his student and the parents of the other reindeer ostracize the poor kid. Lastly, Santa….yes, Santa fails Rudolph. He’s no better than the reindeer. When does Santa and the North Pole community accept our red-nosed hero? When they can use him in the labor system of pulling the sleigh. He’s an inconvenience to Santa until he needs a light to lead the way. It’s sad. We love Rudolph and his dentist-elf buddy Hermey. I imagine a sequel where they say “Deuces” to the North Pole and live their best lives with Yukon Cornelius.

Home Alone

Kevin McCallister, my man…

Home Alone is probably my favorite “true” Christmas movie. Kevin is THAT dude, but his family…oof…

Let’s talk about the McCallister’s. First off, taking a vacation to France with 18 members of your family for Christmas sounds like a miserable experience. I’d personally be done with everyone right after getting through airport security. They’re entitled jerks. Poor Kevin gets picked on by his siblings and cousins. Uncle Frank complains about everything in the harshest way and targets Kevin. His parents don’t care to stick up for him….and probably should have lost custody after the SECOND time they abandoned him for Christmas. Besides Kevin, nobody in this family exhibits kindness. No wonder this kid wanted to make his family disappear.

The Hero We Need Right Now

Let’s end on a happy note. I know I spent most of this Substack about kindness trashing mean people, but I think standing up for people is an important element of kindness. Kindness doesn’t back down and accept cruelty.

We have a new hero in our lives. Let me modify the famous Dark Knight quote from Commissioner Jim Gordon: “Because he's the hero the galaxy deserves, and the one it needs right now. So we'll celebrate him. Because he deserves it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. He’s Neel.”

Neel from the newest Star Wars show, The Skeleton Crew. Neel is this innocent kid that just wants to be safe and he wants everyone to be ok. He cares about his family and friends, and even though he has a lot of fear, he shows even more bravery. Here is a conversation that Neel has with another character about war:

Hayna: "You must be a very weak clan."

Neel: "Yeah, you're probably right. We never have to fight. For anything."

Hayna: "We have always had to fight just to survive. We fight for food. We fight to protect our friends. We are strong."

Neel: "But fighting is... Fighting is bad. If you just keep raiding each other, do you think it'll even ever end?"

Hayna: "Yes."

Neel: "If it was me, I'd just say I was sorry. No more fighting."

You can’t help but adore this young man’s idealism and innocence. Later on in the episode, Hayna tells Neel, “Your weakness makes you kind.” Man, that makes you think. This kid isn’t a warrior. He doesn’t have to be. He just wants peace and he wants everyone to be kind. We could all try to be more like Neel this Holiday Season. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays…

“My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness.” - Maya Angelou