Alien3, Alien: Romulus, and F-It, Alien Resurrection Too

More Xenomorphs on Charlie Don't Surf

Alien3

If you remember the early days of Charlie Don’t Surf, I sought out to write about the Alien Franchise. Critically analyzing the two cornerstones of the franchise was a blast, and I consider my piece about Aliens to be in the upper echelon of things I’ve written. And yet, my journey was stopped short after watching Alien3. I just had nothing interesting to write about it. I mean, I didn’t hate the movie. A more nihilistic Alien movie that takes place on a prison planet and is directed by David Fincher should be really good. To me, it just wasn’t great and the attempts of using CGI to create the Xenomorph don’t look realistic. When all great movie franchises fall short, it’s usually due to excessive studio micromanagement and this seems the case. You can learn a lot about this and how David Fincher completely disavowed the film by watching this video. It’s good stuff. I’ll say this, Alien3 gave us this iconic image, but the overall scene fell flat because of shoddy special effects.

I actually really like the promo art for this movie. I remember being a kid walking around Hollywood Video and the VHS cover of this movie catching my eye. I think it’s an enduring image of the franchise. Ripley, head shaved and with this despondent look of “We really have to go through this shit again?” There was always an aura of enticing anger in this photo.

This poster below is also tight (damn, I’m using late 90s/early 2000s lingo from my childhood). There’s just something about the Xenomorph that’s alluring. I know what I want for my next two tattoos and there’s an Alien design that will be a great addition to my sci-fi arm. The thought of the Xenomorph being alluring reminds me of the Alien comic I read. There was a cult centered around worshipping them. Obviously, I have no interest in starting a Church of the Xenomorph, but it was a fascinating concept for the comic. There were these people that saw the savage aliens as superior beings entitled to the destruction of humanity. The alluring image of the Xenomorph adds to that mythos.

I guess I have found a few interesting things to write about this movie. One more thing, the studio micromanagement included a few different stories that were written to make Alien a trilogy. Could it be the script they chose wasn’t the best and that there’s a better movie out there? Many think so and it has been published as a novel and a comic book. Alternate, potentially better stories for mid-to-bad movies fascinate me. Remember my disdain for The Rise of Skywalker? Collin Trevorrow’s Star Wars Episode IX Duel of the Fates script leaked and it makes for a much better movie than what we got. I might have to find the fan-made comic of this. As far as the alternate Alien3 goes, I haven’t read it but definitely plan to.

Alien: Romulus

You might be wondering why I’m writing about these films out of order. Well, my anniversary is this weekend and I have the best wife a man could ask for. Not only is she loving, supportive, the rock of our family, but a couple years ago she wasted three hours of our anniversary watching my favorite college football drop a turd on national tv. She still won’t let me live this down. She’s also the best wife a guy could ask for because she accompanied me to Alien: Romulus as part of our anniversary date. This is a movie that I’ve been looking forward to for a very long time.

Alien: Romulus is the ninth film in the franchise and takes place between Alien and Aliens. The movie just came out so I’m going to avoid major spoilers, but I do have some thoughts. It’s 90% of a very good film. It has a solid story line, it’s scary, and my jaw dropped in shock a few times. The face huggers are terrifying and the chest thumper scene is perfect combination of eery and disgusting. There’s also this dope anti-gravity scene. There’s just this 10% that’s not sitting well with me. There’s a twist that could have been EPIC, but I personally would have gone in a different direction than what really happened.

It’s important to point out that the Xenomorphs are not the real villains of the Alien Franchise. They are wild extraterrestrials, no different than a predator out in the jungle, savannah, or mountain pass. The real villain is the Weyland-Yutani Corporation. Their complete disregard for humanity is disgusting. It reminds of the recent news story of Disney trying to get out of wrongful death lawsuit because the guy that died at Disney World had a Disney+ account. Ironically, I’m currently watching Alien Resurrection on a Disney+/Hulu bundle. Back to Alien: Romulus….. Weyland-Yutani exploits innocent human beings in their quest for profits and power. Their presence is strong in this movie.

One of the most endearing aspects of this new film is the relationship between Ridley Scott and Fede Alvarez. The two directors have spent a lot of time together on the promo tour as Scott is the first director of the franchise that has now been entrusted to Alvarez. Here is a note that Scott sent to Alvarez after he got the job. Great stuff:

I’ve been typing this in different bunches and I keep thinking about my wife’s discussions throughout last evening. This is a good film, despite that 10%. There’s also a part of the 10% that still makes sense within the larger world, even though I wasn’t thrilled with the execution. It’s a good description of the cruelty of the Weyland-Yutani Corporation. Overall, I’m happy with Alien Romulus and will surely watch it again.

Alien Resurrection

I’m watching as I type this. Good Lord, this movie is terrible. The cinematography has a cool low budget arthouse feel, but that’s the only redeeming quality of this massive turd. The story is weird and the acting is terrible. Ripley isn’t even Ripley. Ron Perlman, the ultimate badass, is anything but. This movie’s worse than Scott Frost blowing an 11 point lead with an onside kick to ruin your anniversary weekend.

What About AVP, Prometheus, and Alien: Covenant?

I honestly have no desire to revisit the two Alien vs Predator films. My wife and I watched Prometheus. I was wrong. I remember it being a major disappointment. I enjoyed it this time around. Will I write about it? As of right now, I’m leaning in the negative. It’s the same for Alien: Covenant. If I keep writing about Xenomorphs, you guys might think I started a cult. I also haven’t forgotten about the other projects I promised earlier in the summer. I still have to write about Mad Max: Fury Road, The Lost Boys, and The Greatest Movie to Never Get a Theater release. Those are still coming.